Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize