The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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