office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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