Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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