you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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