that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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