i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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