sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
