i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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