Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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