Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize