She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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