I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
