I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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