Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
