I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
