wakey wakey hands off snakey
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
