youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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