Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
