Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
