i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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