I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm going to jail i love you
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
