dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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