So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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