Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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