Betty ford says i'm here all night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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