when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
