By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
