birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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