whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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