The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
