She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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