i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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