That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
