hotel room ftw
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
