I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
