i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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