If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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