In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can I color on your dick again?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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