I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
