Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
