Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
zippers are such a cool invention
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
