so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
