she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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