every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
