As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
