honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
