Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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