brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
