Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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