in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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