i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
