Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
