Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
