I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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