just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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