So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
