I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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