May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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