So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
