Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
