just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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